Raising Cain- it is what it is

here is a link to the book on Amazon

J is up to some old tricks but now worse? than ever if that is possible. he has been getting lots of bike time and I am trying to learn to trust him, though I don't he isn't hanging with good guys and I don't know what to do to keep him safe.. and emotionally to help him.

Well friday we come across a beer bottle- stashed in the bathroom at my house, and the kind J-ex drinks ( J- says he did take it from dad's house later) - What is a mom to do?? well this is not a first offence and so the bike is outta here- I tell him saturday am that I am taking the bike to pawn and will put the money back in his bank account. Oh he has a fit, that is the only thing he " owns" he says to me, you can't take it I say I can, and I will, he phones a friend, and then packs his pack and leaves out the back door- shouting " I hate this effen house and I don't want to live in your effen house." ( he has called his dad to tell him too!) I tell them both that you know when you get a DUI they impound your car! it is Illegal for him to drink at 14!
I am then told how unreasonalble I am, I know in my heart this is not the first or last time this will occur.

The book above has shed a bit of light on the Drinking behaviors as a masculine activity - that allows for emotions to be excused with the "well I was drunk excuse"- though it has some scary statistics on the mind numbing behaviors and let down of bariors that prevent clear thought.

I am taking him back for a session today with a LCSW we have seen for about a year now off and on, it is tough, just when I think we are at a good point he goes right back to bad untrustworthy behavior, it makes me want to scream and shout. I don't understand the cry for what? Attention He's got it. ! control, boundries? I am struggling, to let go but I don't want him to mess up his life and pay for it at such an early age.

This is definatly been a tough go for me and J.