little J big ( ex) J in 2002from Lisa Nugent at scrapbook ect.
When Someone Becomes Layout-Worthy
She writes
"This may be the silliest topic I've ever blogged, but Melissa insists that if I don't write about it, she'll post in my name. And you don't know Melissa if you don't think she'd do it. So here goes. I've been dating a fabulous guy for six months and we've been together in plenty of photo-opp settings. I have great shots of him and I at a wedding, dining with his friends, and laughing at a comedy show. But this man-of-mine has yet to grace my scrapbook pages. What's the hold-up? Well, scrapbooking is just such a permanent thing. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but if something should shake up our relationship in the coming months, do I want layouts of our time together? The ultimate question is, when does someone become scrapbook-worthy?"
This is interesting to me because I pondered this question when making some scrapbooks over the years, in my book of me, from baby up to my going to college days I did include some photos of past boyfriends, realizing that it was really a part of me.
But I am balking at the thought of going further, along in my book, and haven't for a few years now. This is because I got married the first time at 20 to my now ex-spouse and I don't want to record that story just yet. We were married for 12 1/2 years and I have two beautiful children that I wouldn't have if this didn't happen in my life. It is just so raw and emotional still even after being divorced for nearly 10 years it will be 10 years next month, and re-married for 7 years to the real true love in my life.
I have scrapped my new marriage and our relationship, but really struggle with my ex. I am working on books for the kids, each has an album of their own and I have included pictures of me and ex spouse in both my children's books, as well as my hubby and his ex in his boy's books. I have a professional wedding album from my first marriage and it is in the memory box for my son. I haven't taken it out to look at it in 9 years! So when will I be ready to document that life? I am still not sure. The bittersweetness is still too much today.
I know I need to for the kids, but I am not ready.
4 comments:
I have taken photos and separated them for my boys. They each have copies of all photos that include their dad. I have no desire to have a photo of him at all.
I can't imagine documenting my life and making him a part of any of it. It's not out of bitterness either. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that the 13 years I spent with him were based on lies. It wasn't real, there was no substance so why would I want to document it in anyway.
I have very few memories of him and our marriage. I think back on those years and my thoughts are of my boys and I.
I admire you for even thinking about documenting your life with your ex. I think putting the thought needed to do so into it would shatter me emotionally. He has to remain a non-entity for me. He was a part of my children's lives, not mine!
I've always had a bit of anxiety about documenting my life. Sometimes, there are things that I don't want to confront again, but there are so many good times that can be forgotten.
Cathy - I can understand how you feel. I think my ex-relationship was a lot of lies too... though some on my part fooling myself too.
I think I will document some of it ,mostly in my kid's albums as you said he is mainly still around because he is in thier lives- I don't really want alot to do with him.
Grunt-
I documented with a scrapbook my husband's youth- it was ton's of fun. I was fortunate that my mother in law had lots of photos and his Dad did too, everyone was willing to give me photos and contribute stories! he loves his book of me. I say go for it if you have the photos and memories start saving those bits now. !
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