a long and rambling post

I haven’t blogged in a serious manner in quite a while, I have a lot on my mind and heart these days and Thought maybe I should put a little of it out there in the world.

I really took a blow with the loss of my job, even though my boss was a real a$$Hat you can ask anyone who worked for him or with him , he didn’t want to communicate with me, I would have straightened up an flown right had he just had a talk with me, instead I take a bit of the blame for my being let go, with behavior that was acting out to get attention, his business needed his serious attention and I don’t think he wanted to hear it from me or anyone else. He took advantage of the freedoms it offered and after awhile I did too…. Much to my demise!

Enough of that re-hashing.

J- is very much on my mind- he is so in need of boundaries and I am having a hard time making them and getting any of it to “ stick to him” , I fear that he is on the fringe of a bad crowd, even if I can keep him interested and going along in scouting, he doesn’t share this with too many of the other boys in his life. I hope he will strive to get to eagle, but the road gets harder everyday, he has calmed down on the wanting to drive just yet, seeing another kid down the street recklessly go about getting into multiple accidents has cooled his jets a bit. I am worried about drugs too, I am certain it has moved into pot at the very least. Though I am not sure how they manage to get it?? !!! I am very naive in that area, I drank a bit at the end of H.S. and into college and but never did any drugs , they just weren’t for me and did nothing for me either.

The work I am doing now, I apparently am doing it well enough that they let other phone customer service reps go and retained me and one other gal from my group for their current staffing needs at Boston Market ( through Kelly temps) still, it is not my desired field? But then what again has been in the 25 years I have worked as an adult? I did put in an application to get into a re-training program that is federally funded for “ displaced” workers, I will keep you posted on this avenue, as they will do some initial interest inventories and skill assessments and this could be a way to finally find out what I want to do when I grow up J . In the mean time I will keep plugging away at this spot for a while, I have met some very nice people and it is just a fine environment to work in- nothing to serious or strenuous_ and it is still win –win as long as I am working for the temp agency I can move on at anytime and do something else if this really isn’t for me. I guess that the thing I look at there is since it is a foot into the corporate office there are many different jobs in this business and I wouldn’t have to stay on the phones forever…..

One more little ( yeah right) thing now on my mind, is I have been asked to take on the job of senior warden at St. James Episcopal Church- my family Parrish, I was so surprised by this that I laughed out loud right after initially being asked! S and I have talked this over for a while, knowing our current senior warden was going to be stepping down. I just guess I thought it would be someone else- but I also can see that if not now then when? For me it is a big step and big responsibility, I would be the priest-in-charge’s boss and also responsible for lots of things in our church. These are big shoes to fill and I m praying for the best guidance I can get at the moment. S is confident with a little more “ time management” I can do this job along with my other hats I wear like, mom, scouter, worker bee and friend! I hope I will be up to the task, but others have confidence in me and see the good qualities in me that some times I find the most difficult to see, I also know I hide behind myself and don’t let my light shine cause I don’t want the spotlight to be on me. I hope that my shortcomings will not be a liability to this big job. I wasn’t going to post this whole thing up to the blog, but now I really think I should, I hope you all will not judge me too harshly.

I need your prayers and support too my friends in the www- I value the interesting ladies and guys I have been able to connect with online. and I hope you all will send up good thoughts for me in the coming few weeks. Thanks for reading if you have gotten this far!! QT