Wednesday, January 10, 2007

a long and rambling post

I haven’t blogged in a serious manner in quite a while, I have a lot on my mind and heart these days and Thought maybe I should put a little of it out there in the world.

I really took a blow with the loss of my job, even though my boss was a real a$$Hat you can ask anyone who worked for him or with him , he didn’t want to communicate with me, I would have straightened up an flown right had he just had a talk with me, instead I take a bit of the blame for my being let go, with behavior that was acting out to get attention, his business needed his serious attention and I don’t think he wanted to hear it from me or anyone else. He took advantage of the freedoms it offered and after awhile I did too…. Much to my demise!

Enough of that re-hashing.

J- is very much on my mind- he is so in need of boundaries and I am having a hard time making them and getting any of it to “ stick to him” , I fear that he is on the fringe of a bad crowd, even if I can keep him interested and going along in scouting, he doesn’t share this with too many of the other boys in his life. I hope he will strive to get to eagle, but the road gets harder everyday, he has calmed down on the wanting to drive just yet, seeing another kid down the street recklessly go about getting into multiple accidents has cooled his jets a bit. I am worried about drugs too, I am certain it has moved into pot at the very least. Though I am not sure how they manage to get it?? !!! I am very naive in that area, I drank a bit at the end of H.S. and into college and but never did any drugs , they just weren’t for me and did nothing for me either.

The work I am doing now, I apparently am doing it well enough that they let other phone customer service reps go and retained me and one other gal from my group for their current staffing needs at Boston Market ( through Kelly temps) still, it is not my desired field? But then what again has been in the 25 years I have worked as an adult? I did put in an application to get into a re-training program that is federally funded for “ displaced” workers, I will keep you posted on this avenue, as they will do some initial interest inventories and skill assessments and this could be a way to finally find out what I want to do when I grow up J . In the mean time I will keep plugging away at this spot for a while, I have met some very nice people and it is just a fine environment to work in- nothing to serious or strenuous_ and it is still win –win as long as I am working for the temp agency I can move on at anytime and do something else if this really isn’t for me. I guess that the thing I look at there is since it is a foot into the corporate office there are many different jobs in this business and I wouldn’t have to stay on the phones forever…..

One more little ( yeah right) thing now on my mind, is I have been asked to take on the job of senior warden at St. James Episcopal Church- my family Parrish, I was so surprised by this that I laughed out loud right after initially being asked! S and I have talked this over for a while, knowing our current senior warden was going to be stepping down. I just guess I thought it would be someone else- but I also can see that if not now then when? For me it is a big step and big responsibility, I would be the priest-in-charge’s boss and also responsible for lots of things in our church. These are big shoes to fill and I m praying for the best guidance I can get at the moment. S is confident with a little more “ time management” I can do this job along with my other hats I wear like, mom, scouter, worker bee and friend! I hope I will be up to the task, but others have confidence in me and see the good qualities in me that some times I find the most difficult to see, I also know I hide behind myself and don’t let my light shine cause I don’t want the spotlight to be on me. I hope that my shortcomings will not be a liability to this big job. I wasn’t going to post this whole thing up to the blog, but now I really think I should, I hope you all will not judge me too harshly.

I need your prayers and support too my friends in the www- I value the interesting ladies and guys I have been able to connect with online. and I hope you all will send up good thoughts for me in the coming few weeks. Thanks for reading if you have gotten this far!! QT


Michelle said...

You deserve a big hug there, little missy!

Asshat!! I haven't heard that in a long time, thanks!

I'm so terribly sorry about what is going on with your son. Does your Parish have some sort of teen mentoring program?

Just think, the loss of your old job is the beginning of better things to come! You could learn a new trade entirely!

QT "The Engineer"!
QT "The Photograper"!
QT "The Lady Who Can Make Stuff Out of Nothing"! (I'm referencing the drink carrier)

It's all good.

Senior Warden. That just sounds bada$$, you know.

"Yeah, I'm the Senior Warden around these here parts." Gosh, take the job just so you can say that like a cowboy!

I'm just funning you.

I will pray for you, QT.

Oh! Quit hiding your light under the bushel!! NO!! Let it shine all the time, let it shine!!!

Be shiney!!

sarah said...

You definitely have a lot going on in your life right now!! I think that becoming the senior warden is a great opportunity for you and I wish you the best!

Queue_t said...

Michelle I told my hubby s-, that it was great thing to add to my resume too, Boss to the priest LOL :)

I am the senior warden!!! though I don't want to be know as too senior!

Sarah- thanks for your good thoughts- you always have the best photos on your blog, I am going to add you to my blogroll if that is o.k.

Kate said...

Blogger wouldn't let me leave you a comment last night! I will send a card with all of my comments. :) Love you!

Anonymous said...

Go for it girl!!! This will be so immensely satisfying. I wonder what J is looking for with this behavior--does anthing come to mind? I'll add him to the prayer list, and next thing you know he'll be overwhelmed!! LOL. Donna

Cathy said...

You do have a lot going on don't you?

You are certainly in my prayers. I hope you are able to make it all come together in a way that pleases you.

I say let the light shine cause you never know who may be out there needing to bask in the glow of it.

J will be alright. Just push the scouts thing and be patient. He has to get through those teenage years and I have a feeling you will find a way to help him do that.

Gwyn said...

In a way, it sounds like some doors slammed shut for you to allow space for new ones to open. Good luck with these new opportunities.

As to J, it's so tough. I've been there and back and it's not something we thought we'd face as parents. A very wise friend told me he cringed during the times they struggled with their "wild child" when someone would say to another parent, "You must be wonderful parents, your kids are so good." After about age 12, we really don't have a lot of influence for a few years, and can only hope the strong foundation will keep them alive until their brains stop the short circuits. Good luck with that, too.

Angie Pedersen said...

Wow, talk about parallels -- my son is in scouting too, and I wonder if he'll stick with it to Eagle. He's lucky to have most of his good friends in his patrol, though.

AND I've also worked customer service through temp agencies - bleh. Definitely not a "career move", but if it keeps dinner on the table...

Hang in there!